Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most

by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen

PREVIEW AUDIO:

The full audio of this book review is available to paid members. SIGN UP NOW.

Duration: 32mins 3secs

TAKE THE QUIZ:

About This Book

Difficult Conversations offers a practical framework for navigating high-stakes, emotionally charged talks at work and in relationships. The authors reframe conflict around three core conversations—what happened, feelings, and identity—showing how misunderstandings arise and how to listen with curiosity. With tools for managing emotions, sharing impact without blame, and finding mutual purpose, the book helps readers communicate honestly, reduce defensiveness, and reach more constructive outcomes.

Responses

You must be logged in to post a comment.

ALL BOOK REVIEWS

A Sense of Self: Memory, the Brain, and Who We Are
Adverse and Protective Childhood Experiences: A Developmental Perspective
Adverse Childhood Experiences: Using Evidence to Advance Research, Practice, Policy, and Prevention
Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder
Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World
Atomic Habits: an Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst
Being Mortal
Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life's Purpose
Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art
Classic Case Studies in Psychology (Fourth Edition)
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Coming of Age in Samoa: A Psychological Study of Primitive Youth for Western Civilisation (Perennial Classics)
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Conscious: A Brief Guide to the Fundamental Mystery of the Mind
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most
Do Hard Things : Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness
Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, 7th Edition
Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets
Forever Strong: A New, Science-Based Strategy for Aging Well
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis
Get It Done : Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation
Get Up and Get On It: A Black Entrepreneur's Lessons on Creating Legacy and Wealth
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth About Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar - Your Brain's Silent Killers
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation
Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things
Homicide: Foundations of Human Behavior
How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life
It Starts With Food: Discover the Whole30 and Change Your Life in Unexpected Ways
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender
Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
Make Your Bed
Mindset: Changing the Way You Think to Fulfil Your Potential
Never Get a 'Real' Job: How to Dump Your Boss, Build a Business and Not Go Broke
Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
Nudge
Obedience to Authority: An Experimental View
On Grief and Grieving
Opening Skinner's Box: Great Psychological Experiments of the Twentieth Century
Outliers: The Story of Success
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity
Patterns of Culture: The Bestselling Introduction to Cultural Anthropology―Exploring Diversity and What It Means to Be Human
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind
Say Goodnight to Insomnia
Scarcity Brain: Fix Your Craving Mindset and Rewire Your Habits to Thrive with Enough
Sense and Nonsense : Evolutionary Perspectives on Human Behaviour
Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout
Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death
Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Generation of Culture
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
The Ape that Understood the Universe: How the Mind and Culture Evolve
The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable
The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature
The Body Keeps the Score
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog
The China Study: Revised and Expanded Edition: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted and the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss, and Long-Term Health
The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self
The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve Real Happiness
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness Hardcover
The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology, Volume 2: Integrations
The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
The Master and His Emissary : The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World
The Matter With Things: Our Brains, Our Delusions and the Unmaking of the World Volume 1
The Matter With Things: Our Brains, Our Delusions and the Unmaking of the World Volume 2
The Moral Animal: Why We Are, the Way We Are: The New Science of Evolutionary Psychology
The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture
The Obesity Code: Unlocking the Secrets of Weight Loss (Why Intermittent Fasting Is the Key to Controlling Your Weight)
The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness
The Psychology of Stress
The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion
The Road Less Travelled And Beyond: Spiritual Growth in an Age of Anxiety
The Selfish Gene: 40th Anniversary Edition (Oxford Landmark Science)
The Sleep Solution: Why Your Sleep Is Broken and How to Fix It
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
Think and Grow Rich
Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady : What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Eliminating Symptoms at Their Roots Using Memory Reconsolidation
Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health
Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams
Young Forever: The Secrets to Living Your Longest, Healthiest Life

Join Our Mailing List

BRILLIANT MENTAL HEALTH

ONLINE THERAPIST RESOURCES

wisemind.com offers therapist resources for mental health professionals. An extensive content library of psychology tools, including video lessons, demonstrations presented by world-class experts, therapy worksheets, workbooks, forms, quizzes and training certificates.

7 DAYS FREE TRIAL

US$ 8.25 /month (billed annually)

wisemind features world expert mental health professionals delivering therapist resources and video training

Learn with the best

Neuropsychotherapy and Trauma Interventions

Originally trained as a neuroscientist, Dr. Jennifer Sweeton is a Stanford-educated clinical and forensic psychologist specializing in trauma treatment and the neuroscience of mental health.

Neuropsychotherapy and Trauma Interventions

Dr Jennifer Sweeton
PTSD Relief Therapy

Internationally-renowned PTSD researcher and clinician, founder of the Boston Trauma Centre and professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School.

PTSD Relief Therapy

Dr Bessel van der Kolk
CBT for Depression

Dr. Nina Josefowitz has over thirty years’ experience as a CBT therapist and teacher and is the author of CBT Made Simple.

CBT for Depression

Dr Nina Josefowitz
Embodied DBT

Embodied DBT Specialist Dr Eboni Webb integrates DBT and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy strategies to address traumatised clients

Embodied DBT

Dr Eboni Webb
Emotional Freedom Techniques

Dr Peta Stapleton is a clinical psychologist and leading researcher renowned for her evidence-based work on Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

Emotional Freedom Techniques

Dr Peta Stapleton
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder

Dr Daniel Fox is a renowned psychologist who specialises in treatment of personality disorders

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder

Dr Daniel Fox
Depression and Bipolar Disorder

Dr Chris Aiken is a renowned psychiatrist, professor and author who specialises in the treatment of Mood Disorders

Depression and Bipolar Disorder

Dr Chris Aiken
Psychopathy Therapy

Forensic psychologist Dr Tarra Bates-Duford provides a comprehensive study of psychopathy

Psychopathy Therapy

Dr Tarra Bates-Duford
CBT Training

Dr. Nina Josefowitz has over thirty years’ experience as a CBT therapist and teacher and is the author of CBT Made Simple.

CBT Training

Dr Nina Josefowitz
DBT Training

DBT Specialist Dr Eboni Webb offers DBT Tools and strategies to address complex clients

DBT Training

Dr Eboni Webb
Narcissist Therapy

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and multiple-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years.

Narcissist Therapy

Dr Daniel Fox
EMDR Training

Clinical psychologist, international speaker & best-selling author introduces EMDR therapy skills for working with PTSD and trauma.

EMDR Training

Dr Jennifer Sweeton
Sibling Issues in Therapy

Professor Avidan Milevsky incorporates the latest research and clinical work in family dynamics to examine multiple angles of integrating sibling issues in therapy

Sibling Issues in Therapy

Dr Avidan Milevsky
NLP Training

Internationally acclaimed mind coach, hypnotherapist and bestselling author whose work centres on the principles of neuro linguistic programming (NLP)

NLP Training

Dr Stephen Simpson
Anxiety and Worry Therapy

Dr Jennifer Abel provides proven therapeutic techniques to help your clients work through the spiral of anxiety and successfully face their fears

Anxiety and Worry Therapy

Dr Jennifer Abel
Divided Brain Clinic

Psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist describes the real differences between the left and right halves of the human brain. It's not simply "emotion on the right, reason on the left," but something far more complex and interesting.

Divided Brain Clinic

Dr Iain McGilchrist
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

Internationally-renowned psychotherapist, 40 years’ experience integrating the mind and body, offers relief and a new way of living in our body.

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

Dr Pat Ogden
Hypnosis For Pain Relief Training

World-renowned clinical psychologist and professor with over 30 years' experience using hypnosis for pain control offers a step-by-step guide to using hypnosis to enhance your clinical practice.

Hypnosis For Pain Relief Training

Dr David Patterson
Advanced Trauma Therapy Training

World-renowned trauma clinical psychologist and clinician with over 30 years’ experience helping survivors to accept and love their wounded selves.

Advanced Trauma Therapy Training

Dr Janina Fisher
Childhood Sexual Abuse

Forensic Psychologist Dr Tarra Bates-Duford offers expert therapy approaches for treating survivors of childhood sexual abuse (CSA)

Childhood Sexual Abuse

Dr Tarra Bates-Duford
Anxiety Relief Treatment

Clinical psychologist, researcher and expert in behavioural treatment for phobias, provides dynamic treatment and relief from anxiety.

Anxiety Relief Treatment

Dr Sia Bandarian
ACT Therapy Training

Learn the advantages and benefits of implementing Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) into your clinical practice with Dr John Boorman, UK clinical psychologist and ACT Therapy Specialist.

ACT Therapy Training

Dr John Boorman
Divorcing: Parents & Kids

Internationally-acclaimed clinical psychologist, professor at Harvard University, McLean Hospital and clinician with over 30 years’ experience working with high-conflict couples.

Divorcing: Parents & Kids

Dr Alan Fruzzetti
Brain Skool

Brain Skool is a collection of sessions from internationally-renowned specialists investigating the function and processing of their favourite brain regions.

Brain Skool

Various Presenters
Depression Relief Therapy

Doctor of counselling psychology offers understanding and relief from depression with a variety of skills and a wealth of treatment experience.

Depression Relief Therapy

Dr Lauren Axelsen
Conflict in Relationships

Internationally-acclaimed clinical psychologist, professor at Harvard University, McLean Hospital and clinician with over 30 years’ experience working with high-conflict couples.

Conflict in Relationships

Dr Alan Fruzzetti
Emotional Regulation

Clinical psychologist with over 20 years’ experience helping people manage out of control emotions, irrationality, feelings of hopelessness and distress.

Emotional Regulation

Carolyn Bright