Being Fair And Effective
Session 05 of 12Duration 17mins 21secs
AUDIO VERSION (MEMBERS ONLY)
In this session, Dr Alan Fruzzetti shows us that going through a divorce brings a lot of demands and pressure on both parties. He considers: how to get to a balanced place by taking into consideration your own self-respect, being able to feel good about your action and feeling that you are in control of your own life. He considers how fairness is always in the eye of the beholder and that there is very little objectivity around fairness. Dr Fruzzetti offers example scenarios and skills to start evaluating fairness and he looks at finding positions that are most beneficial for your children.
Sessions in this Series
- 01In this session, Alan considers how once you have made the decision to separate, things get harder for a while, not easier. He discusses: finding the motivation to move on, how to grieve appropriately, how to let go of resentment and to stay focused on what is important (so that your children emerge in good shape).
- 02In this session, Alan explores how we try to make sense of the world by the way we think and he considers the various other ways of thinking. He talks about how to move from a judgemental style (which creates lots of negative and destructive emotion) to a different style which leads to a more self-confident and positive view, ultimately allowing you to treat others more fairly.
- 03In this session, Alan shows us that there are some very consistent and predictable things that divorcing parents can do to ensure a good outcome for their kids. He discusses four different factors that will ensure your kids will do well – despite the fact you are divorcing.
- 04In this session, Alan observes that if you are going through a divorce you will have a lot of negative emotion and you may even feel overwhelmed. You had high hopes for somebody you loved and it just didn’t work out, you are getting divorced. He offers insights into a variety of strategies to manage negative emotions so the emotions don’t rule your life.
- 05In this session, Alan shows us that going through a divorce brings a lot of demands and pressure on both parties. He considers: how to get to a balanced place by taking into consideration your own self-respect, being able to feel good about your action and feeling that you are in control of your own life. He considers how fairness is always in the eye of the beholder and that there is very little objectivity around fairness.
- 06In this session, Alan discusses that when going through a divorce people seek emotional support from family or friends. This support can be constructive and this is good for the couple and the kids. Or, it can get you stuck and miserable in a negative spiral and not resolve the conflict at all. Alan discusses how to make the best use of family and friends, balance negative and positive emotions and block the dysfunctional things that happen.
- 07In this session, Alan investigates how divorcing can be hard on the children. They don’t know what to feel and they are not used to seeing their parents dealing with such difficult emotions. These things get in the way for kids. Alan considers how to talk to the kids about the divorce, how to listen to kids and how to validate your children’s emotions so that they feel heard.
- 08In this session, Alan investigates how divorce is a very emotional process, often with lots of anger, sadness, shame, guilt and a fear of the future. The key to moving on successfully is to work on grieving. Allowing the sadness is the way our brain learns to let go of the loss. Alan considers a pathway for grieving and offers a process for checking your feelings.
- 09In this session, Dr Alan Fruzzetti investigates the growing trend of suicide in teenagers. Being a parent of a suicidal teen can be very scary and overwhelming. Dr Fruzzetti offers advice to parents who are faced with this very tough job. Dr Fruzzetti discusses the difference between suicidal thoughts and suicidal intentions, identifying the problems and negative emotions your child is reacting to. By outlining a step by step process on how to respond effectively, Dr Fruzzetti shows parents how to manage their emotions whilst communicating in an open and validating manner.
- 10In this session, Dr Alan Fruzzetti investigates the growing trend of self-harm in teenagers. Dr Fruzzetti discusses the different causes, which could be peer influence or relief from emotional suffering. Dr Fruzzetti details the effects and types of self-harm and offers advice for parents to understand and respond to their child’s self-harming. Finding out your child has self-harmed can be over-whelming and scary. It’s very important that parents first manage their emotion before opening a dialogue with their child to ensure the best possible outcome. Dr Fruzzetti outlines a process to ensure effective communication between parent and child.
- 11In this session, Dr Alan Fruzzetti discusses the difficulties parents experience during their child’s developmental process of adolescence. Adolescence is a time when children experience periods of rapid growth and because they haven’t learned to manage their emotions yet, anger often arises. Dr Fruzzetti outlines the many causes influencing adolescent destructive behaviour and how to determine whether it’s due to developmental changes or more serious concerns. Dr Fruzzetti offers advice for parents on how to effectively respond to their child’s unacceptable behaviour, while continuing to show love and support throughout this challenging time.
- 12In this session, Dr Alan Fruzzetti investigates the very difficult and often painful emotion anger. Anger can wreak havoc in our relationships and has a negative impact on our self-esteem. When we are angry it’s a sign we are unhappy and might not be managing our emotions well. Dr Fruzzetti outlines ways we can identify underlying causes of anger and how we can best treat those negative emotions through accurate expression. Dr Fruzzetti shows us how to successfully reduce anger and act in ways more consistent with our values.